The Red Hood Story That Should Never Happen
by SoWhelmed
Summary: Basically a Little Red Riding Hood story... with Bat-Fam instead of the regular characters :) COMPLETE


A/N: So a friend and I were talking about fairy tales... then Batman, then this happened.

It's not supposed to be taken seriously lol but whatever..

Enjoy it :) R&R!

One upon a time, there was an angry little robin named Little Red Riding Hood. He was bored one day and his daddy told him to take some goodies to his brother who lived deeper in the Gotham Woods. Little Red Riding Hood took the big basket of delicious pastries, said good-bye to his dad, and headed off into the woods. He sulked as he trudged down the path grumbling about how much he hated his brother.  
A little while into his trip, he met up with another brother of his. They did not treat each other as brothers though, for the younger one was very greedy and thought he deserved everything his older brother owned, including the basket of goodies.  
"Little Red Riding Hood, I deserve that basket of goodies! Give it to me now or I will have your head!" He threatened attempting to take the basket from his brother.  
"I can't give it to you. This basket is going to our Brother Red Robin's house." Little Red Riding Hood said pushing his brother face first into the ground. The little one scowled, but by the time he stood up, Little Red Riding Hood was gone.  
Little Red Riding Hood was not bothered again the rest of his journey and made it safely to red Robin's cottage. He knocked on the door and waited impatiently for Red Robin to open it.  
When Red Robin came to the door he quickly took the basket.  
"Thank you." He said nervously, glancing back into the house. Little Red Riding Hood smiled sarcastically.  
"No problem Red." He grumbled.  
Red Robin was about to wave him off when Little Red Riding Hood interrupted the process.  
"My, what small eyes you have."  
"Good-bye Little Red Riding Hood."  
"My, what small hands you have."  
"I said get the #$% out of my house!"  
"My, what bad words you use." Little Red Riding Hood said ripping the basket from the hands of the supposed Red Robin.  
About this time a wood cutter comes up to the house. He smiled sweetly at Little Red Riding Hood and Red Robin.  
"Hello." He said in such a happy voice it caused the other two to cringe. "I was cutting wood over yonder when I saw an incredibly devious looking little boy come this way. He went in through the window of the house, and then I heard a lot of swearing and a lot of this breaking. I'm pretty sure that he knocked out the owner and is standing in front of us right now." He continued to smile, sweeping jet black hair from his eyes.  
"Why should we believe you?" Red Robin said glaring at the wood cutter.  
"I don't know. I'm just saying that you look nothing like Red Robin. In fact you look a lot like the thing in the woods that everyone claims is a notorious demon. But that can't be true; you're too cute to be a demon."  
"I'm not cute." He growled balling up his fists and trying to be threatening.  
This caused the wood cutter to laugh and pull Red Robin into a hug.  
"Okay! Okay! I'm not Red Robin! Now let me go! Unhand me!"  
Little Red Riding Hood smirked at the sight of his brother, better known as the demon, fighting to be free of the wood cutter's grip.  
"Wait. If he's not Red Robin, then where is he?"  
The other two ignored his question, so he decided to look around the house for himself. He walked through every room trying to find his brother. He went slowly, checking every little crevice. Not because he really wanted to find Red Robin, but because the longer he suffered the better.  
He eventually found Red Robin tied up in a closet. He was beaten and unconscious, and Little Red Riding Hood was almost glad that his youngest brother had gotten there before he had. Now he could eat the bread all by himself, blame it on his youngest brother, and no one would know the better. Plus, he didn't have to talk to Red Robin, which is always a good thing.  
So, instead of untying Red Robin, he went back to the front door, picked up the basket of goodies and headed back down the path in the woods to his house. He passed the wood cutter and his youngest brother on the way out but the paid no attention to him. They were too busy trying to not end up being hugged or unconscious.  
He ate the goodies on the way back and disposed of the basket before he arrived back at his house.  
His dad was sitting in a chair at the kitchen table when Little Red Riding Hood came home.  
"How was your trip?" He asked not looking at his son and his voice void of all emotion.  
"Great! It was fine."  
His dad now raised his head and cocked his eyebrow.  
Little Red Riding Hood paled.  
The next there hours were spent in harsh interrogation, and hunting down the wood cutter who still had his little brother, and taking a new basket of goodies to Red Robin.  
THE END  
Moral of the Story: Never, EVER lie to Batman.


End file.
